Where are you and where are you going?

Where you are is only important as long as you let it be, just get off the couch and do something, only then will you will be able to see where you are going!

I have been much like the guy in this picture, proud of the past, feeling like I was still on top, while pushing myself further and further away from it, by guzzling beer and eating anything and everything. I threw my trophies away years ago, and I had boxes of them, I had been the best, and a great baseball player when I was a kid, all the way up to High School, but I quit, because I “grew up” , drinking and girls were more fun than baseball, and getting paid to play a game, never crossed my mind, baseball was for kids, and I was a man.

By the time reality caught up with me, I had stopped working out, and I had my first weight set when I was eleven, weight training was very important to me, baseball wasn’t, but, I had quit both of them! Since I wasn’t a baseball star anymore, the girls went away too, I was too busy working, and really needed a change, so, I joined the Army. Why? Because I knew I needed a good kick in the butt and felt that the Army could give it to me! History repeats itself, if you let it, and I did.

This time, it was not all my fault, I got hurt, to the point I couldn’t stand for more than about five minutes, the pain was and is incredible, I tried to train through it, I was not about to let myself get fat again, but, I did. Now, after signing up with the VA to get some help, and 4 years of CT scans, X-rays, and doctor visits, after being informed that my problem was permanent and would never go away, I had earned it, the neurologist told me. I had raced Mountain Bikes, downhill was my event, I had been a runner, trained at more than marathon distances, and now, I have the spikes growing out of my spine to prove it! The doctor told me that all the crashes, and pounding from running, not to mention the tonnage I had lifted in my life, had given me a spine that normally takes over seventy years to get, and that is a very active, almost crazy like Evil Knievel, kind of active, and had gotten fat on top of it all.

Once I knew my pain would never go away, I gave up hope that I would ever get back in the gym, or compete at anything ever again, I felt like the world had come to an end, all I had left was the glory days, pain pills, my computer, TV, beer and food. When I got hurt, it was stupid, I stubbed my toe, and in the jerking to keep my balance, I had done something, that still is with me, proof that you just never know. At that time, I was in pretty good shape, I am 5′ 7″ and then weighed 275 pounds with a 36″ waist, bench pressing up to 495 pounds, squatting up to 705 pounds, and doing dead-lifts of about 405 pounds, but, that was over, and I now weigh 282 pounds with a 50″ waist.

My biggest frustration, is now, my biggest motivation, every time someone tells me that if I lost weight, my back would feel better, I felt like punching them, because I was really trying, had cut my beer consumption down to almost nothing, a 12 pack a month, eating soup and vegetables and hardly ever any junk, but, I was totally inactive, pain was winning, and I knew that I needed more activity, but walking is my biggest enemy, so, what could I do?

I have decided to just suck it up, and get my fat self back in the gym, no matter how bad it hurts, and how many people look at me funny when I walk in the door! Walking, or even standing for more than a few minutes is out of the question, but, I can sit, and squats only take a couple of minutes per set, then I can sit and wait for the pain to subside before my next set. My doctor had used my anger, and embarrassment to motivate me, and I signed up for the MOVE program, I need to thank him. Now, I know where I am going! I don’t care about weight, I need to lose fat, and I know how to do that, get back to the iron!